The past couple of weeks have changed the course of our lives, redirecting us in a way we had not imagined. I have felt the energetic ripples of change coming for quite sometime, but had been unable to get a sense of how, where or when. And nor was I meant to do anything other than take this one step at a time.
John’s dad Rob had become quite unwell and we decided that after this housesit we would head north to stay with his folks and help in whatever way we could. We booked the ferry and mapped our way north, intending to take a couple of days to get there. However, Rob was ready to set off on his next journey before this time. So we flew up for the day of his Celebration of Life Ceremony and returned to Christchurch to complete the housesit and drive north as previously planned.
It is at times like this in my life that I appreciate being able to receive communication from people in Spirit. Both my parents have passed over, together with all of their siblings. As I have gotten older, my experiences of providing spirit communication and messages for others has helped me to feel more at ease and accepting of the process we call Death. Which, from my experience, is only a word commonly used to describe a stage of transition of the soul from physical into non-physical, where Time and Space have no impact on us.
Everyone has their individual experiences of when someone close to them passes into Spirit. Everyone has their individual beliefs of what happens, be it religiously influenced or a conclusion they have come to for themselves. Therefore Grief is a very personal and individual experience also. But what if…what if…you could hear or sense your loved ones around you? Imagine for a moment how good this would feel, to know that they are ok. More than ok. That they are living it up with their friends and family who are already in Spirit!
And what of us who are still hanging out here in the physical world? How can we adjust to sensing the eternal presence of our loved ones? Sadness is when we are focussed on where they were, what they looked like and how they used to feel physically to us. The Grieving Process is one of adjustment to a new state of being. By softening our awareness helps us to receive them as more of a feeling than a visual or physical presence. That they are still right by our side, wanting to let us know that they are doing well, and for us to relax into this adjustment.
By quietening the mind with meditation, nothing fancy, just listening to your breathing, opens the mind to receive communication in a different frequency. Like tuning into a radio station which plays your favourite music, meditation removes the thought clutter of a busy mind and helps you to hear what at first may feel like your imagination. It is usually brief, sometimes fleeting, impressions coming in as seemingly random thoughts, words, songs, music, flickering lights or electronic mishaps, signs from birds, animals, children – those who are naturally finely tuned into the nuances of the Spirit World….which is so much bigger than the physical world in which we find our daily lives immersed in.
Overwhelming grief is debilitating, stops us in our tracks, makes us feel unwell and unable to cope. This is the reminder that we have switched off to where our loved ones are now accessible. Breathe, let the tears subside, do not force anything, and listen. Simply listen. Because they are always wanting to touch us in someway and when we are grieving intensely they are not able to reach us, we put up a barrier. Feel the grief, of how it affects our body, and just breathe. It will pass, it will become easier, as quickly or slowly as we need it to be. It really is up to us. It is important to honour the individuality of this, for each of us and that of others doing it in their own unique way.
Three days before Rob passed into Spirit, I woke at 3am. Wide awake, I laid in bed and asked, “How wants to speak to me?” And then I heard Rob’s voice say, “where the hell am I?” I knew then that his time was coming soon. On the day when he did pass, minutes before John received a phone call, I felt dizzy, nauseous and had difficulty breathing. Immediately I had thoughts of John’s mum.
Throughout the days which followed, I caught glimpses of him as being pain-free, at ease, and actually enjoying adjusting to a different perception of life. He was playful and mischievous and….happy! Of wanting to interact with us, to let us know that he had not disappeared or gone away, just kind of ‘vaporised’ a bit. We continue to experience his presence around us in a variety of ways.
I hope what I have written here will help someone lift the veil of grief for them, to adjust to a new way of communication with their loved ones who are right by their side waiting patiently to chat with them.
Monica & Grace