What I have learnt from Grief is that it is a process of letting go of something or someone which had become familiar in our lives, of shifting our focus from what was, to what now is, and what is yet to come. Grief may be for a much loved person or furry friend, end of a relationship or marriage, a house, a job, a business, a change of career or direction in life. Sometimes the lead up to this event is gradual, sometimes sudden, and even if you have been aware of this, it still feels like a shock when it comes. There is a sense of finality to it.
Grief is a time to be ever so gentle, kind and patient with yourself and others. It is a personal process that no one else can experience as you are.
Acceptance is the goal, a light at the end of the tunnel. And that in itself is a process too, of working up the emotional scale from shock, sorrow, sadness, numbness, to frustration, anger, release, hope, forgiveness and Acceptance – of being ok with what is.
Many people and furry friends have come and gone in my life so far. Some of them have gone to Heaven, some have moved on to live elsewhere on the planet. Either way, there is still an element of ‘missingness’ – of loss and the emotional rollercoaster which accompanies this. I now understand that emotions are our personal guidance system, reminding us of where our thoughts are each moment of each day. That whatever we are focussed on, we continue seeing more of this. It takes a little concentration to reset this focus, to something that feels better, to take that initial step towards feeling good and build momentum on this – feeling better on the inside. It cannot be done for us, it is a personal decision to take that step forward.
Our emotions effect our physical body, you can feel the heaviness of worry or the lightness of happiness and how the body responds to them all. It is good to express these emotions verbally, to address how you are feeling and this is Emotional Intelligence – awareness of what we are feeling and choosing to do something about it. Emotions can overwhelm us, stop us in our tracks, take our breath away, immobilise us….and… we can also be empowered and inspired by them. Exploring how we are feeling can be intriguing, fascinating, interesting, uplifting, bring clarity and peace of mind. It’s ok to feel whatever emotion is bubbling inside, it’s ok to talk about it with someone willing to listen, to use this as a tool to be able to move forward and into a place of feeling better, even good, maybe even happy!
Being mindful to bring awareness to your thoughts. What story is being retold in your mind? Does it feel good to be thinking this? How does it make your body feel? Is it time to stop that story and start telling a new one. To help shift your focus, begin with stating 10 things you liked about your day. If that is too many, start with 3 and add-on from there.
Life is a continual experience, even beyond this physical body – the eternal journey of the soul. But whilst we are still in one, it is important to be taking care of it. Emotion is energy and it can get stuck in various parts of our body. Massage and Reiki help to transform this energy, both physically, emotionally and spiritually. All energy is vibration which resonates at different frequencies, even our thoughts are energy and have their own frequency, having an effect on our state of physical wellbeing. It feels so good to unravel the knots in the mind and body, and to give and receive this liberating experience.
My personal experiences with grief recently are reminding me of the importance of the wellbeing of our body, mind and soul, that I have a gift and 25 years experience of helping others to reconnect with their own natural state of wellbeing through Holistic Massage, and Reiki. All I need now is a nice room and a massage table…..
Monica & Grace xoxo.