Several months had passed since the accident and Molly still struggled with the social life expected of her. The party invites had stopped because she just refused to go. Being in a crowded space unsettled her, and the conversations just seemed so…young. Sometimes she felt so much older than her friends. The gap continued to grow, but she was totally okay with this. It really didn’t bother her, and she was surprised at first. Settling in to a new lifestyle, having finished with the demands and deadlines of University, she enjoyed hanging out with Anna, and immersed herself in the studies with Nanny. Molly found much satisfaction and understanding in her journal writing. Somehow, she felt more at ease to write about how she was feeling, than trying to explain it to someone else. Except for Nanny. She seemed to understand everything that was happening to Molly.
The dream she had the other night lingered in her thoughts. That room had felt so real to her. She had brought it up in discussion with Nanny, who refused to say anything other than, “one step, then one more,” which Molly had learnt to just accept that was all she was going to get out of her as far as any explanation of the dream.
Nanny had been a huge help with her recovery. She insisted on calling the accident Molly’s ‘Time Out’. She had Time Out from the Physical World, a reminder for her that there is something more than what appears to be in most people’s lives. There were some days that she could not get out of bed, the longing for what, she could not quite remember, weighed heavy on her heart. The emotions overwhelmed her, and she was not able to control what was happening to her. The longing was so painful. And she wanted to know what it was about, but nothing seemed to come to her and she would get frustrated and confused. On these days, Nanny would know and understand, and would leave Molly alone, not even questioning her absence when she did turn up for her lessons on these days. The time Molly shared with Nanny were much more than just studying herbs and healing techniques. It was healing for Molly also. And also preparing her for the life she was moving towards, of what had already been predestined for her, that she would begin to remember as each step was revealed to her. She just had to feel her way forward and stop looking back to what was. This brought relief to that sensation of longing and loss.
It was after one of these days when Molly arrived at Nanny’s, that Nanny knew it was Time to explain a few things to her. She had made morning tea already and was sitting outside in the warm sun quietly looking into the overgrown gardens and listening, her eyes closed. Having no response to the knock at the back door, Molly walked through the house and out the front door to find Nanny sitting quietly in the chair. At first Molly was not sure if she was breathing, she looked so peaceful. Then, just as Molly’s heart began to sink, fearing that she had gone to Spirit, Nanny’s eyes sprung open and she said, “Boo!” And laughed. “In-between guffaws, she spluttered hysterically, “Y-ya face! Y-you think me dead!” And then she doubled over laughing so much she could hardly breathe! At first Molly looked hurt, and then the infectious nature of Nanny’s laughter grabbed her and she began laughing too, seeing her delicious humorous outlook on life.
Catching her breath, Nanny, sat back in her chair and dried her eyes with a handkerchief. She looked up at Molly standing in front of her, who purposefully blocking out the sun for her so that she could see more easily, and said, “Nothing serious going on here. You takin’ life too serious! Come now, we have work to do. Sit, sit….I have a story to tell you…you got your listening ears on? Wanna hope so, coz here it comes.”
Nanny did her best to explain to Molly that, what she had experienced in her ‘Time Out’ was a life that was yet to be experience here in the Physical World. “Spirit World and World in Between, them huge, e-nor-mous, bigger than what you see in night sky of them stars, planets and galaxies.” She paused awhile, closed her eyes and nodded silently. She then went on to say, “Not my job, to give you details of what happened in that Dreamtime. My job be help you to trust that you will remember, as each step of your life be revealed to you. Trust in this process, Missy, even when she feel Life be letting ya down and you’s think you be alone. Never alone, we’s always here, you just forget to look with Spirit Eyes. This’m only means you outta balance, ya plug it fallen out, cos we, and Grace always be there with you, but you gotta meditate. Then you see when your energy all lined up.” Nanny had in her hand a bundle of small sticks, which she dropped on the table and they landed in a scattered pile. “This you, this your mind. Watch…” she held her hand over the bundle and like magic moved them into a line side by side, without even touching them. Molly was gobsmacked. “H-How did you do that?” She asked Nanny, stunned.
“Magic!” Nanny whispered, “Looks easy ay! But not so easy for your energy. Gotta do some work there. Get you lined up like ‘em sticks, yeah?”
“Yeah, wish it was that easy!” Molly sighed.
“Hmph!” Nanny grunted, “Time I make a brew. You sit here in the sun, warm your brain.” She patted Molly head and shuffled inside to make some tea. But this was no ordinary tea. Nanny knew it was time for Molly to remember enough to give her some trust in Life again, to help her to look forward not backwards.
Sitting in the sun, listening to the gentle breeze moving through the trees around her, Molly thought she could hear voices, soft whispers. When Nanny came back with a tea tray, she asked the old woman quietly, “Is there someone else here? I thought I heard voices amongst them trees…ssh, ssh, can you hear them too?”
Nanny looked non-plussed, “Yup, them here all the time, I always hear them. Them garden spirits, you know….ummm….what you call ‘em…faeries!” She said very matter-of-factly, and poured the tea into tiny Japanese styled cups. “Here, get this in ya!” She winked, and began sipping and slurping her hot tea noisily. “This tea help you remember a little. It’s Time. But not too much, just enough to wake you up again, hear me! Sit back now and let that tea do its own magic.” She herself, sat back in her chair, her hand reached out for Molly’s, didn’t say a word, but encouraged her to sit back too and close her eyes.
Molly felt herself beginning to float, spinning, gently, turning, and then the sensation of falling, faster and faster. At first, fear rose in her throat and she tried to grab at something to slow herself down. She felt her body turn over and she began diving forward at a very fast speed and then suddenly, she stopped, hovering in a void-like nothingness, darkness surrounded her. “Nanny?” She asked in a whisper.
“Me here too,” and Molly felt her hand being squeezed.
“Now what?” Molly asked.
“Come take a seat with me,” In the darkness Nanny pulled on her hand leading her down what felt like steps in a movie theatre. Molly could see dimly the outline of seats, and Nanny pulled her along a row and into a seat next to her. “Watch!” She demanded, and before them the giant screen lit up. Molly knew she needed to pay attention here. Like a movie of somebody else’s life, Molly watched flickers of memories from her ‘Time Out’, of what felt like familiar places and people. The only one she really recognised was Anna. And then she saw him…
Unable to control herself, she called out, “Will!” And her face lit up with the memory. The image on the screen smiled at her as if he could see her, and he blew her a kiss. “Nanny, Nanny – it’s Will! I remember him. Oh it is HIM I have been missing. Where is he now? Nanny, when can I see him again?”
And as quickly as the vision had begun, it faded, they were back sitting in the front garden of Nanny’s cottage, in the sunshine looking out at the trees.
Nanny watched Molly, her energy had shifted and she looked so alive! It has been enough to move her out of her funk, sorry-for-herself mood. She sat silently staring into the trees. She had seen him! She had remembered, and wanted to know more! But for now she was contented to sit with what she had just experienced. Nanny disappeared into the kitchen and returned with a plate of sandwiches and two glasses of water. Together they ate lunch in silence. Feeling peaceful and at ease, Molly asked, “Nanny, when will I see him again?” Nanny contemplated this for a bit and then answered carefully, “When the Time is right. But not around here. There is a journey for you, overseas, to that bigger island, you know which one?” Molly shook her head, puzzled. “Ah! You will know. All things will line up, you see!” And she got up and took the dishes inside to wash them, ending the conversation. She called out from the kitchen, “you have other stuff to do now. I see you tomorrow,” she came outside again, kissed Molly on the forehead and looked at her with a love that made Molly melt. The old woman looked at her with pride, “All in good time, one step and one step more!” And Molly knew that was that for today. “Thank you Nanny! Thank you!” She said and hugged Nanny tight, now being able to trust a little more in what was happening for her.
Molly decided to walk home along the beach, give herself some time to process what she had just experienced. The ocean was calm, the gentle waves lapped rhythmically onto the beach, and a large black gull hovered overhead. Colour filled the sky as the sun began to sink below the watery horizon. Molly was well aware that she was not on her own, and if you could have seen her through Spirit Eyes that day, you would have seen the entourage of angels and spirit people walking behind her. Beside her was the image of a young man, someone about to make his presence felt in the Physical World. A part of Will had never left Molly. Soulmates are inseparable, despite how this Life may appear. Forever together in this world and beyond…